Matthew Breitman 711 11/15/14
It is not unusual for fathers and
mothers to struggle to let go of their children as they grow up. Mama Lil in
the short story “Building Bridges”, by Andrea David Pinkney, is the seventy
nine year old grandmother of Bebe. Bebe is a seventeen year old teenager who
wants to become an engineer, and is trying to pull away from her old life. She wishes
to become an adult, and make her own decisions, but Mama Lil doesn’t want to
let her go. Bebe pleads with Mama Lil to sign a consent form to let Bebe work
at the Brooklyn Bridge, but Mama Lil refuses. Their relationship illustrates to the reader how
challenging it is for parents to see their kids grow up.
As the journey begins, Mama Lil can’t
grasp onto the thought that Bebe is growing up, and because of this, Mama Lil
treats her as a child. As Pinkney introduces the characters, the protagonist, Bebe,
says, “And the older I got, the more at odds we were.” This highlights that as
Bebe is progressing as a teenager, Mama Lil doesn’t know how to deal with her. This
is not only because she doesn’t want Bebe to grow up, but also because Bebe is
maturing as a teenager. This is deteriorating their relationship, because Mama
Lil doesn’t know how to respond to Bebe growing up. Later in the story, Bebe is
talking about how the Brooklyn Bridge is a mystery to Mama Lil. She says,
“Truth be told, Mama Lil was scared of something she didn’t know.” This makes
me think that Mama Lil doesn’t want Bebe to work at the Brooklyn Bridge,
because Mama Lil doesn’t know what’s out there. She continuously refuses to
sign the consent form because she hasn’t experienced what Bebe wants to. Mama
Lil doesn’t want Bebe to work at the Brooklyn Bridge because she is scared that
something will happen to her, and is trying to protect her. She thinks that it’s
the best choice for Bebe, so she holds her back and keeps her behind the doors
that if opened could lead to her dreams. Mama Lil isn’t just refusing to sign
the form because she doesn’t want to let her go, but also because she wants to
protect her from the unknown. She treats
Bebe as if she’s a child and wants to hold Bebe’s hand anywhere that she goes.
But Mama Lil doesn’t understand that Bebe is getting more and more independent.
Therefore, Mama Lil wants to stay with Bebe forever, as if she was a new-born
baby. She doesn’t comprehend that because of this, their relationship is slowly
losing its quality.
As the reader journeys towards the
middle of the story, Mama Lil still can’t accept that Bebe is growing up, and
Bebe is feeling indignant about it. Mama Lil is also neglecting her. As Mama
Lil leans back on the sofa, avoids eye contact with Bebe, and smokes her
cigarette, Bebe says, “ ‘Mama Lil, your eyes are always closed. Closed to
seeing me.’ ” This line really stood out for me, because Mama Lil is ignoring
Bebe because she doesn’t know how to treat her. Bebe is growing up, and Mama
Lil doesn’t want that. So Mama Lil thinks that by disregarding Bebe completely,
she won’t have to face the facts. When
Bebe becomes livid, she starts screaming, and yelling hurtful statements
towards her grandmother. She says, ‘Yeah,
that’s right,’ I said, my voice strained with frustration, ‘blow me away. Try
to make me and my dreams disappear, like your puffs of smoke!’ ” I feel like
this line really changed the story. I think Mama Lil is finally going to
understand not to ignore Bebe. Because this line, and the previous one, were
both very powerful. Bebe is getting very aggravated and sick of how Mama Lil
doesn’t want her to be free. Thus you can see that Mama Lil is trying to
pretend Bebe is not there so she doesn’t have to face the facts, and that she
wants to keep Bebe cradled in her arms forever.
As the reader’s journey nears the end,
Mama Lil finally starts understanding that she must accept that Bebe’s growing
up, and that she has to let Bebe follow her ambitions. After Mama Lil finishes
smoking her cigarette, she informs Bebe of something that was very impactful.
She said, “Your dreams are the kind that’ll take you away from here, Bebe –
away from your Mama Lil. You got big hopes, child, but they gonna leave me alone,
by myself. ” This line reveals why Mama Lil doesn’t want to let Bebe fix the
bridge. She doesn’t want to grow old all alone. She wants to be with Bebe
forever. Mama Lil finally admitted it, which shows honesty, and courage. She
might not be as courageous as a soldier in the Vietnam War. But it does show
courage, to say something as powerful and moving as that. Through this one
line, Andrea Davis Pinkney revealed the main reason of why a parent or
grandmother, like Mama Lil, can’t watch their kids go, and just leave them.
When Mama Lil is lying on the sofa and Bebe smooth’s out the consent form, Bebe
asks, “You want me to read you what it says?’ I asked. Mama Lil shook her head.
Leave it be, she insisted. ‘Let me sit with it awhile. ” Mama Lil is finally
considering to let Bebe go. She’s understanding that Bebe is becoming a mature
adult, and accepting the fact that Bebe is growing up. She is finally
understanding that she has to unlock the bolted door that is stopping Bebe from
pursing her dreams. Mama Lil is finally understanding that it’s not all about
her, and her decision determines Bebe’s life. Therefore Bebe is leaving her old
life, and entering a new one, and Mama Lil is not as persistent and determined
to deny it.
As the story comes to an end, Mama
Lil realizes that in order for Bebe to be happy, and to follow her dreams, she
has to let her go. As Mama Lil and Bebe finish reading the consent form, Mama
Lil takes her pen out of her house-dress pockets. Then the narrator says, “She
held it awkwardly and signed the form with her crooked handwriting.” Mama Lil
really did let go. Every letter of that crooked signature was a step of letting
go. The more she wrote, the closer Bebe is to following her dreams. Mama Lil
understood that she should let Bebe run to her dreams and not to Mama Lil’s.
She also understood that what Bebe wants is more important than what Mama Lil
wants. I mean, all parents need to let go at some point, and this was Mama
Lil’s time. After Mama Lil finishes signing the consent form, and reads it
over, she folds it, and then gives it to Bebe. Then she says, “Bebe, that
bridge is lucky to have you.” Mama Lil doesn’t regret her choice of letting go.
Mama Lil realized how much she loved Bebe and how much she wanted her to do
what she loves, even if it meant letting go. She had to do what was best for
her granddaughter. After she finished signing the form, she didn't break into
tears, and say “Oh you’re getting so old.” She smiled, and felt proud of her
decision. Overall, Mama Lil realized how important Bebe’s dreams were, and that
in order for Bebe to dream her dreams, she had to accept that Bebe is growing
up.
As the story progresses, the reader journeys
through Mama Lil’s feelings about Bebe growing up. She can’t grasp on to the
idea that Bebe is maturing, and doesn't want her to. Though in the end of the story, her love for Bebe is stronger than anything, so she lets her go. She
lets Bebe follow her dreams, even if, they will leave Mama Lil all by herself. This
lesson is significant to all of us because at one point, we were all kids. And
we understood that our parents had to let us go. Now we can see what our parents
feel, as they open the doors for us. Parents have to learn that even though
they struggle to let go, they have to let their kids pursue their dreams. Even
if, it will leave them by themselves.
