Building Bridges Essay

            Matthew Breitman                            711                              11/15/14

It is not unusual for fathers and mothers to struggle to let go of their children as they grow up. Mama Lil in the short story “Building Bridges”, by Andrea David Pinkney, is the seventy nine year old grandmother of Bebe. Bebe is a seventeen year old teenager who wants to become an engineer, and is trying to pull away from her old life. She wishes to become an adult, and make her own decisions, but Mama Lil doesn’t want to let her go. Bebe pleads with Mama Lil to sign a consent form to let Bebe work at the Brooklyn Bridge, but Mama Lil refuses.  Their relationship illustrates to the reader how challenging it is for parents to see their kids grow up.

As the journey begins, Mama Lil can’t grasp onto the thought that Bebe is growing up, and because of this, Mama Lil treats her as a child. As Pinkney introduces the characters, the protagonist, Bebe, says, “And the older I got, the more at odds we were.” This highlights that as Bebe is progressing as a teenager, Mama Lil doesn’t know how to deal with her. This is not only because she doesn’t want Bebe to grow up, but also because Bebe is maturing as a teenager. This is deteriorating their relationship, because Mama Lil doesn’t know how to respond to Bebe growing up. Later in the story, Bebe is talking about how the Brooklyn Bridge is a mystery to Mama Lil. She says, “Truth be told, Mama Lil was scared of something she didn’t know.” This makes me think that Mama Lil doesn’t want Bebe to work at the Brooklyn Bridge, because Mama Lil doesn’t know what’s out there. She continuously refuses to sign the consent form because she hasn’t experienced what Bebe wants to. Mama Lil doesn’t want Bebe to work at the Brooklyn Bridge because she is scared that something will happen to her, and is trying to protect her. She thinks that it’s the best choice for Bebe, so she holds her back and keeps her behind the doors that if opened could lead to her dreams. Mama Lil isn’t just refusing to sign the form because she doesn’t want to let her go, but also because she wants to protect her from the unknown.  She treats Bebe as if she’s a child and wants to hold Bebe’s hand anywhere that she goes. But Mama Lil doesn’t understand that Bebe is getting more and more independent. Therefore, Mama Lil wants to stay with Bebe forever, as if she was a new-born baby. She doesn’t comprehend that because of this, their relationship is slowly losing its quality.

As the reader journeys towards the middle of the story, Mama Lil still can’t accept that Bebe is growing up, and Bebe is feeling indignant about it. Mama Lil is also neglecting her. As Mama Lil leans back on the sofa, avoids eye contact with Bebe, and smokes her cigarette, Bebe says, “ ‘Mama Lil, your eyes are always closed. Closed to seeing me.’ ” This line really stood out for me, because Mama Lil is ignoring Bebe because she doesn’t know how to treat her. Bebe is growing up, and Mama Lil doesn’t want that. So Mama Lil thinks that by disregarding Bebe completely, she won’t have to face the facts.  When Bebe becomes livid, she starts screaming, and yelling hurtful statements towards her grandmother.  She says, ‘Yeah, that’s right,’ I said, my voice strained with frustration, ‘blow me away. Try to make me and my dreams disappear, like your puffs of smoke!’ ” I feel like this line really changed the story. I think Mama Lil is finally going to understand not to ignore Bebe. Because this line, and the previous one, were both very powerful. Bebe is getting very aggravated and sick of how Mama Lil doesn’t want her to be free. Thus you can see that Mama Lil is trying to pretend Bebe is not there so she doesn’t have to face the facts, and that she wants to keep Bebe cradled in her arms forever.

As the reader’s journey nears the end, Mama Lil finally starts understanding that she must accept that Bebe’s growing up, and that she has to let Bebe follow her ambitions. After Mama Lil finishes smoking her cigarette, she informs Bebe of something that was very impactful. She said, “Your dreams are the kind that’ll take you away from here, Bebe – away from your Mama Lil. You got big hopes, child, but they gonna leave me alone, by myself. ” This line reveals why Mama Lil doesn’t want to let Bebe fix the bridge. She doesn’t want to grow old all alone. She wants to be with Bebe forever. Mama Lil finally admitted it, which shows honesty, and courage. She might not be as courageous as a soldier in the Vietnam War. But it does show courage, to say something as powerful and moving as that. Through this one line, Andrea Davis Pinkney revealed the main reason of why a parent or grandmother, like Mama Lil, can’t watch their kids go, and just leave them. When Mama Lil is lying on the sofa and Bebe smooth’s out the consent form, Bebe asks, “You want me to read you what it says?’ I asked. Mama Lil shook her head. Leave it be, she insisted. ‘Let me sit with it awhile. ” Mama Lil is finally considering to let Bebe go. She’s understanding that Bebe is becoming a mature adult, and accepting the fact that Bebe is growing up. She is finally understanding that she has to unlock the bolted door that is stopping Bebe from pursing her dreams. Mama Lil is finally understanding that it’s not all about her, and her decision determines Bebe’s life. Therefore Bebe is leaving her old life, and entering a new one, and Mama Lil is not as persistent and determined to deny it.

As the story comes to an end, Mama Lil realizes that in order for Bebe to be happy, and to follow her dreams, she has to let her go. As Mama Lil and Bebe finish reading the consent form, Mama Lil takes her pen out of her house-dress pockets. Then the narrator says, “She held it awkwardly and signed the form with her crooked handwriting.” Mama Lil really did let go. Every letter of that crooked signature was a step of letting go. The more she wrote, the closer Bebe is to following her dreams. Mama Lil understood that she should let Bebe run to her dreams and not to Mama Lil’s. She also understood that what Bebe wants is more important than what Mama Lil wants. I mean, all parents need to let go at some point, and this was Mama Lil’s time. After Mama Lil finishes signing the consent form, and reads it over, she folds it, and then gives it to Bebe. Then she says, “Bebe, that bridge is lucky to have you.” Mama Lil doesn’t regret her choice of letting go. Mama Lil realized how much she loved Bebe and how much she wanted her to do what she loves, even if it meant letting go. She had to do what was best for her granddaughter. After she finished signing the form, she didn't break into tears, and say “Oh you’re getting so old.” She smiled, and felt proud of her decision. Overall, Mama Lil realized how important Bebe’s dreams were, and that in order for Bebe to dream her dreams, she had to accept that Bebe is growing up.

As the story progresses, the reader journeys through Mama Lil’s feelings about Bebe growing up. She can’t grasp on to the idea that Bebe is maturing, and doesn't want her to. Though in the end of the story, her love for Bebe is stronger than anything, so she lets her go. She lets Bebe follow her dreams, even if, they will leave Mama Lil all by herself. This lesson is significant to all of us because at one point, we were all kids. And we understood that our parents had to let us go. Now we can see what our parents feel, as they open the doors for us. Parents have to learn that even though they struggle to let go, they have to let their kids pursue their dreams. Even if, it will leave them by themselves.